some answered questions...

I smiled thinking about it.

Simply because it struck me as ironic that the last post - which was a sweet little ditty about loving others even though they have different, perhaps even opposing beliefs - sparked the most controversy so far... funny.

But then the more I thought about it, the more upset I became. If we can't even find a way to treat others with respect and compassion, or maintain some sense of humility in a blog - where we have hours or days to think about what we say before we type, proof read, skim the thesaurus, check spelling and hit "SEND", what hope do we have to respond in those ways in real life?
I began to feel that this blog was a waste of time. My goal was to speak something of value, to write something worth reading, because I know what these truths have done in my life and I wanted to share it and watch it produce good fruit in the lives of others! I began to think that this whole thing was a mistake, "this isn't what I wanted" I told my wife.

But when I got up early this morning and spent my time in silence, something occurred to me:

 there are no mistakes, only opportunities.

So I would like to take this opportunity to address some questions that were asked regarding my last post. There are 13 questions, but essentially they are one. By the end you will see what I mean. Forgive me for taking so long to answer, sometimes you have to wait until the water is still before you can see through to the bottom... for the Christians reading this, I guess you could say I was taking a moment to draw in the sand.

1). "Is this god/truth/love you speak of in the space between a satanist and a radical jihadist?" The Infinite answer is yes, but the finite answer is that you have misunderstood the main point. This "god/truth/love" I speak of is not a hybrid of multiple faiths. You can't combine Satanism and Islam to get a yummy God cookie. The point is that when people, ANY people, are willing to lay down the tools they use for building up their belief structures and the weapons they use to defend it so that they are better able to give/ help/ befriend their fellow human being, they are demonstrating the love of God. Not that I need to explain this to a Christian, but the point is self sacrifice. Living in a way that honors the noblest of human (you may wish to say Divine) attributes. Isn't that what your whole religion is about? Isn't it based on a gift? a sacrifice made for us even though we didn't deserve it? That's the point. So if a Satanist was to lay down his/her life for a radical Jihadist, then yes... "God" is in their midst, in that space between their beliefs, where love is manifest.

2). "Does this god bridge their beliefs?" I believe I already answered that, but in case you meant, "is god able to access the human heart even at these extremes, in spite of their beliefs?" then yes. (At some point down the road I'll talk about my own personal specific beliefs regarding the nature of "God", for now I'll stick with the idea of "Him" as a personified God: the big man in Heaven, watching, listening, etc...) God is everywhere, all the time, all knowing and all powerful. There is no heart beyond his reach. Period. 

3). "Is there truth between what the jihadist does with explosives strapped to his chest, and what the satanist does to animals?" Well, yeah. The Jihadist (which I'm not sure is the grammatically correct way of saying that) TRULY believes that he is doing the work of God. And the Satanist TRULY believes they seek a better way. You point out what they do to animals, but isn't your Bible full of animal sacrifice... initiated by the will of God? Surely animal sacrifice isn't your real issue. (side note, one of these days I'd like to post a blog about misconceptions regarding Satanism and various other religions... it's fascinating just how much we don't know about the things we judge). In Both of these examples that were brought up, the people (mothers, fathers, sons, daughters) involved TRULY BELIEVE what they are doing is right, just as some Christians believe that picketing the funeral of a homosexual soldier is doing the work of God. Never mind the grieving family, this is what "God wants". Of course... who am I to say? I can't stop those Christians any more than I can stop a terrorist from doing what they believe is right. I cant change their mind, or reason with them. Do I agree with them? Absolutely not. But here again, what is love? Where is God in all this? What if you had the chance to give your life to save that terrorist? What if by dying, I was able to save the life of one of those Christians picketing?" Would you? Would I? Perhaps the better question is, would Jesus? I think we both know the answer... and This is love - to lay down you life, even for your enemy.

4). "Does truth really bridge all religions?" Truth is not a combination of all religions, instead, each religious idea has grown from a seed of truth. Now whether that seed grows to be healthy, or whether it withers and dies, whether it produces wholesome fruit or produces worm filled balls of poison depends largely on how it is grown, pruned, watered, etc. We are the caretakers. But again, can Truth reach across any and all religious walls? Absolutely, yes.

5). "Do they all point like road signs to the god in the space between?" The Infinite answer, yes. The finite answer, if you look deep enough into any religion you will find a common thread, a longing to "know God", as I've said before - it's like gravity pulling us back to the source. At some point, we all go home.

6). "What about the Tibetan monk performing a sky burial where he chops dead bodies up into pieces so the vultures wont leave anything behind?" Who are you? Are you your body? Your organs, your brain, your blood? Well... I suppose partially, yes. But these things are merely a shadow of who and what you really are. The body is just a shell we use for a time and when we move on to the next stage in existence, who really cares what people do with the empty shell? Here in America we either burn it to ashes, or we dress it up, put makeup on it, take out the organs, plump it up with preservatives and stick it in a very expensive box before will dig a hole and stick it in the ground. Does it really matter? I like what Jesus said, let the dead bury their own dead. 

7). "Who declares whether these are rightdoings or wrongdoings?" Well, it seems that we all do! And we all have a different idea of where they fall on that wrong-to-right continuum. The Better question is, who will be willing to love the other in spite of those differences?

8). "Where is the space" (referring to the space between... where God is). It is both a physical place and a metaphorical one. "God" is everywhere all the time, so the space is everywhere, all the time. And metaphorically the question has been answered several times over, but I'll give a clear visual - It's just past your little stone wall of pride and through the doorway of humility, if you can get there I GUARANTEE you'll find it!

9). "If this god you speak of is the common love they all share... do you serve your god?" This "god" I speak of is like a river with a steady current. I do my best from day to day to strip off all the things that make me feel like me, unique, special, separate, and wade into the cool water with nothing but my naked honesty. I try to slip down into the water and let it take me wherever I'm meant to go. Some days I'm able to let go a little better than others. Sometimes I drift all day long, enjoying the sun on my face and the feeling of the air and the water on my skin. Some days I fight the current... but it only wears me out. This is the best way for me to describe it. I hope it answers you question. It's not a thing to serve, or obey. It's a thing to align myself with, or not. But I cant change it or redirect it. It wears away stone and feeds flowers by the shore... all a the same time... a great and wonderful mystery.

10). "Do you want to aspire to be like him?" day to day yes. I aspire to love, to forgive, to be full of joy and wisdom and peace, warm and bright as a fire for everyone around me. But that's just while I'm here. Some day I'll go home, and that river will run to the sea. 

11). "If it isn't god/truth/love, then who decides what is?" This is the question that was asked, but it's the wrong question. We all decide on a daily basis what's true, real, etc. The better question is whether we will choose to love those who see such things in a different light.

12). "Does this space where god is, respect the different ways these cultures and people groups express love?" The expression of love from one human being to another is our way of respecting God and the various ways in which people show love are all beautiful and all equally sacred.

13). "What is love? Is it different for different people or is there a universal definition?"

This is the ONE question I mentioned earlier.

What is love? If I were able to define this accurately for you, you would have the True definition of God.

 I am not so enlightened. I can only tell you what it does, how it effects us. Much the way we can only define gravity based on how it effects things. 

Although hatred stirs up strife, Love covers all transgressions, Love builds up, Love is patient and kind, Love isn't jealous or arrogant and it doesn't brag. Love doesn't behave rudely, nor is it selfish. Love isn't provoked and it doesn't keep tabs on all the injustice that its suffered. Love doesn't rejoice or gloat over the ignorance of others, but only in the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails, though all else will pass away, Love will never fail. Love is greater than our faith and our hope. This is true of Love, and certainly a Truth any Christian will recognise. 

Love sacrifices itself for friend and foe alike. Love is what enables us to forgive those who have left scars on our hearts. Love is the only fingerprint of God, by whatever name you choose to call him, because without Love there is nothing here worth fighting for, nothing worth living for and certainly nothing worth dying for.  



The space between

Today's blog is short and sweet. We had some friends over for dinner last night. They are wonderful people and I'm proud to call them friends. One of the things I love about them, is that they are devout Christians who actively seek God and deeper levels of truth in their daily lives.

I watched a documentary on religion and man's spiritual beliefs once, don't recall the name of it off hand, but at one point during the film I was brought to tears. Something I saw moved me in such a way that I couldn't NOT be effected by it (by the by, you  know it's real truth when it moves you like that).

What I saw was just this: There were two friends, two old men who were the best of friends. One was a Jew and the other was a Palestinian. They were talking about the differences in their beliefs and the shere hatred that surrounded them, but that how God was the space between, like a bridge between them.
It  was just the way they were silent after it was said, nodding at each other, smiling, and tearing up.
It was incredibly beautiful.
Powerful.

Anyone who knows anything about the conflict in that part of the world, and how it all stems from religious beliefs - the killing, the hatred, all of the pain that has taken place because of the clash of two differing faiths, and yet here were two old men at opposite ends, in the midst of a war zone, an Earthly hell by all standards - and yet, they were bound by friendship and love.

God is the space between. The bridge between your truth and mine, and not that I should cross to your side, or you should be convinced to come to mine, but that we meet where God is and let love be the bridge that binds us.

I love my friends. Not because they think the way I do. Not because of what I can get from them, or how they make me feel. I love that they have their own beliefs, but most of all, I love that in spite of our very distinct differences, they never fail to meet me in the middle, in that silent in between where God lives.

follow the signs... dont call them "God"

Looking back over my last blog, it occurred to me that I'd made a mistake (and I'm not referring to the number of grammatical errors). When I read the parable of the trees again and thought about my life and the beliefs I'd held in the past as "The Truth", I realised that I'd had all of those trees growing in my front yard at one time or another, and in fact, it seems that my beliefs have followed the same natural pattern that actual trees do; that is - they are young saplings, they grow into tall strong, living things and then when they've run their course, they die.

At one time, the thought of changing one of my personal beliefs would've seemed an embarrassing thing to admit but one thing I've learned is that it takes courage to change. It's much easier to stay where things are comfortable and predictable. But change is the only real constant and to resist it is to resist the current of life. It's healthy to be part of the cycle that the rest of creation, and indeed, everything in our universe abides by. The only danger lies in clinging to that which is dead, simply because it once lived and it once gave life. A baby nurses for a time, but the day comes when they have to move on to another form of sustenance.

Take my experience in Christianity for example. When I was young, so was my faith. I was simple and green as was my belief. I didn't need any structure to help explain the complexities of life, because the life of a child is relatively simple. I don't mean to downplay simple faith, on the contrary, I feel the world could use more of it! But there came a time when I had questions that required a deeper understanding. In addition, I was growing up in an atmosphere where the goal was a deeper relationship with God, and this required a more comprehensive understanding of his word.
You could say that my tree was no longer a sapling, but growing taller with branches instead of shoots. My roots were growing deeper and the larger the tree became, the more nutrients it required to thrive.

Over time I had come to a place where there was so much structure, so much doctrine that I could have lived out the rest of my life and never had a need to search for truth again. I had so many beliefs, proofs for my beliefs, supporting arguments for my proofs and supporting arguments for my supporting arguments until my faith was a veritable fortress! This is not a situation unique to my personal experience.

I have known, and still know, many people who construct their own fortresses and go to a meeting once or twice a week in order to reinforce their foundations and the structures of other like minded individuals - because if there's anything better that having a fortress, it's having an entire kingdom of fortresses that are impervious to this harsh world.

I know. I've done it. I've helped pour foundations myself and replace weak pieces from time to time. This group dynamic can be dangerous. It's one thing to have your own beliefs that you cling to because they are a model that fits your life. If something changes - like a perception for example - and you notice that your model no longer fits, you simply tear down what doesn't work and replace it with a better solution. This is a healthy learning process.
But in a group of "like minded" individuals, tearing down becomes risky business. You see, not everyone will agree that THAT particular piece needs to be removed. In fact some will want it to be reinforced, still others will claim that it's perfect the way it is.
In most cases, the individual looses their sense of self and defers to the mind of the collective, propagated by a charismatic leader or leaders. We tend to polarize our views when surrounded by a like minded group so instead of seeing the world and our vast experiences with a somewhat objective outlook, it all becomes black and white and we dice and hack and divide and shove the pieces into our little categories of "Right" and "Wrong", snacking all the while on the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of "Good" and "Evil" until we've got it all figured out. Soon it becomes difficult to even see  problems with our belief system because we are SO assured by the nature of the group who reinforces the collective belief regularly while simultaneously condemning objectors in the subtext of the sermon. But I digress...

The point is, that tree grew in me.
I know what it feels like to have THE answer and be more confident in it than I am in my own heart. If you would've asked me thirteen years ago if I would ever leave the church, I would have swore emphatically "No! I will never walk away from the calling of God and the miraculous power and glory he has in store for us... his remnant in the Earth!" 

And yet, here I am.

The thing is, every belief we have is no more than a symbol... a sign in our spirits, our hearts and minds pointing to something greater; the words we use, the stories, the imagery, the prayers, the rituals, all of it. No religion is God. To go a step further... are you ready? No religion is the "Right" religion. Now I know what you're gonna say, "well... there has to be some absolute 'Right'! Some Truth by which to measure all other truths!" and you're right. So here it is...
 They are all signs and symbols that point to something... The Source. The symbol still has meaning, and it contains truth, but it will always fall short of "The Truth" or the substance that it represents. So we can cling to our faith because it is true, and condemn the Hell-bound Muslim, but we are essentially pitching a tent at the foot of the road sign, as if it's the destination and throwing rocks at others who have decided to park under another sign. "You Muslims/ Buddhists/ Taoists/ New Agers (fill in the blank please) are better come over to our sign or you're gonna burn! Can't say I didn't warn ya!" On the other hand, if we should choose to move past it into the great unknown, we have no guarantees except for our faith that the Source will guide us back home. This is true faith: to step past what is known into the void, knowing only the pulling on our spirit by the gravity of the infinite  that can be felt when we are quiet and still.

To illustrate the idea of the "word of God" as a sign with more than this man's opinion, consider a major story line in the Bible. The Israelites were the people of God. He gave them a mountain of laws and regulations, rituals concerning how He should be worshiped, obeyed, how they should live amongst each other, concerning sacrifices, the dimensions of the temple, materials to be used, down to what the priests should wear when they entered the temple. It's safe to say that no T was left uncrossed, no i was left without a dot. Then, thousands of years down the road God comes as Jesus.
Now first of all, the Israelites were doing what they were told to do. They were following (to the best of their ability I'm sure) the law that God himself had established through Moses the Prophet. There were many other prophets through the ages that Prophesied and told the people that God would indeed come to them, but that he would be coming in power, glory, like a king coming in the clouds with all the host of Heaven by his side. At least, this is what they expected based on their interpretation of the scriptures. But he came as Jesus, a poor, average looking carpenter from Po-dunkville Nazareth. According to the Bible, Jesus was not what they expected, so much so that the priests of the day - the religious experts - were convinced he was a servant of Satan and decided to find a way to kill him.
How is it that the people of God, doing their best to fulfill the law, knowing the scriptures were so blind to the real deal right in front of them?
(You may take it or not, but even Jesus points the way, even Jesus is a sign. He even refers to himself as a doorway, a spiritual bridge of sorts)

The problem was, they were still clinging to a dead tree. This is A TRUTH in the Bible. Any Christian would agree with me up to this point, and yet when I say that the Bible will not always be the living tree it once was, they shut me out as if I'm a servant of Satan himself. "What are you saying!? The word of God will never be obsolete! You obviously don't understand the ultimate Truth of the Bible!"

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the Pharisees and Sadducees said the same thing...

Some people read the Bible because they think that in a book they'll find the secret of eternal life, but it's the very same book that bears witness to what I'm saying! And they're unwilling to even hear these things that they could have the life they seek.
It's not about nullifying the Bible. It's about distinguishing between the Source and the signs that point to it. And the truth is you'll pass many signs along the road and they will all point you back to the Source. I Guess you could say, all rivers run to the Sea.

And for any of you reading this who are looking for a loophole to use as a noose around the neck of my "argument", let's not be ridiculous. "All rivers" does not mean anything and everything. I'm referring to individuals seeking truth. I make no real distinction between Buddhists, Muslims, New Agers, Taoists, Christians, etc...
While on the surface they seem as different as different can be, the truth is they all stem from the same basic human need to return to the Source and when you look deeper into the heart of what they teach you find the same longing, the same commitment to truth, the same willingness to sacrifice self in the pursuit of "God", "Truth", "The Infinite", "The Source", "Enlightenment", etc.

Choose to focus on the differences in perspective if you must. But why not celebrate the golden thread they all have in common?

They all have their place, they all serve a purpose - they fulfill the individual needs of different people in different spiritual states and while none of them are the Supreme Truth, they contain a piece of truth that eventually guides all those that seek - back to the Source.

I am not trying to change you mind. That would be futile. No one can make you believe something you don't want to believe. When time, and life bring you to a place where you long to see the truth, you will. And all my words are just symbols, signs pointing to something bigger, like a shadow stretching out from the substance of something more real, more substantial.

If your tree is young and green, nourish it and take joy in watching it grow. If it is strong and tall, providing shade with strong limbs to rest in and sweet life giving fruit then enjoy it and take peace in the safety and spiritual nourishment it offers. And if and when you find that fewer leaves sprout each Spring, and it no longer bears fruit or can bear the tug of the wind and the pulling of your heart, then consider planting anew (but plant knowing that there is a cycle to everything, a birth and a death - we call it finite but it's truer name is echoed in it's infinite nature).

three trees

My desire is to speak something of value, to write something worth reading, to love something in honesty and to live like a fire - warming and illuminating those around me. To that end, I am compelled to write the things that I believe to be of value.


If you desire truth, if you truly wish to open your heart and mind to that which is and not merely that which you choose to believe, you must first drain yourself of the doctrine and established ideas, the mental constructs you have collected through your life. Some of these things you received from your parents. Some from friends, teachers, pastors, your favorite t.v. show, an interesting book, some you have - even though you cant recall where they came from, but you cling to them because - right or wrong - it comforts you to have an answer. Don't worry, the truths will remain like stones on the sieve and the rest that falls through like sand isn't worth keeping anyway.

I'd like to use this blog to talk specifically about Christianity mainly because it was my religion for a large portion of my life. I ate, slept and breathed Christ for many, many years. I was devoted. I read my Bible and prayed daily. I was a Prophet and a Pastor at a very young age. I was a Psalmist writing songs for worship service. I was taking my faith to the street and witnessing to strangers in the park and the supermarket. The Christian doctrine was in me like my own blood and yet... here I am.
I'm not even close to being a Christian today! So what happened?
How does a person change a belief?
I'm forced to look back at my own life and access what it was that opened my eyes to a new way of looking at, well... everything.
Some of you reading this are Christians and you're offended already. That's okay. I'd like to tell you a story before you write me off completely as a backslider with a grudge. Its a short story, I promise.

Once upon a time (because all good stories should start that way), there were three handsome houses on a friendly looking street, and one day a group of children passed by them on their way to the playground. In the front yard of the first house there was a small tree. It was a very young and not quite strong enough to climb on. The woman who lived in the first house looked out her window and saw the children coming and knowing how children can be she stood on the front porch to make sure they didn't climb on her tree and destroy it before it had a chance to grow. Well, sure enough as they passed one of the little boys went to grab a branch, but the woman shouted and scared him off, so the children kept walking.
As they approached the second house, they saw an old man sleeping in a rocker on his porch but soon their eyes drifted to the big-ol'-old tree in his yard. "Come on!" they screamed, "let's climb it!" but as they grasped a limb to climb, it made a cracking noise and no sooner had they jumped back, then the limb crashed to the ground, waking the old man from his nap. "You kids get out of here and leave my tree alone!" He screamed at them, because he knew that even though his tree looked tall and strong, it was a dead tree and lacked the strength to withstand children and their foolishness. "Trees should be left alone..." he thought to himself.
The children ran along frustrated and a little sad that there were no trees to play in. But at last they came to the third house on the block and in the yard was a tall, beautiful, green tree and a swing hung from one strong branch and a rope with knots from the other. They looked at each other and back at the tree and in the blink of an eye they were swinging and climbing and laughing. A man and his wife sat on the porch swing smiling as they watched the neighborhood children playing in their tree.
The end.

How did we say in Church?... oh yeah... "he who has an ear, let him hear."
The children are your thoughts, my thoughts, questions, doubts, concepts, ideas, etc... the street is your mind and heart. The trees are our beliefs and we are the owners.
Christianity is your tree.
Which person are you? Is your faith, your belief system so young that the slightest tug will kill it? Are you so scared for it that you stand watch by the window making sure no one comes to try and contradict anything you believe? Are you afraid of looking because you might hear something different?
Are you the old man locked in your belief even though it's lifeless and "having a form of Godliness" lacks the strength to stand up to the push and tug of thoughts, questions and scrutiny of others? Are you angry when people come along and expose how frail it is by breaking off a branch? Why not cut it down and plant anew?
Or are you the couple on the porch who enjoy watching the children play in the tree - because you know the tree is strong and living. Are you unafraid of children pulling on the branches because you know, they cant really hurt anything... they're just doing what children do?
which one will you be?
which tree do you have growing in your yard?

 Just a thought before I get into it...